the birth of consciousness
I’ve named this post after the work pictured above, “The Birth of Consciousness” by John Outram
There is something special about every birth, and something that stays with us about every birth story that we hear. I’ve been thinking about birth lately for a bunch of reasons - friends trying to conceive or about to have babies, the “birth” of various creative projects (more on these soon!), and my upcoming attendance of a wonderful benefit for a new birthing center in New York City.
What’s coming up for me is an observation that, in mainstream culture at least, menstruation and birth are held in a similar regard in at least one respect that I call “bounce back and get on with it”. A birth story that I heard a few years ago epitomizes this concept. The woman had a fast, intervention-free labour and birth that took place on a Saturday morning. To top it off, she informed us proudly, she was back in the office, baby in tow, first thing Monday morning. I was speechless - 48 hours into your first child’s life and you’re where? And yet she was beaming and happy - clearly it was the right choice for her, but it has kind of haunted me ever since.
While I’m thrilled that the birth was so easy for her, I’m still perplexed that she felt that she had to go to work (in her case, this would not have been a choice driven by financial necessity) so soon, even though it clearly felt empowering to her. In conversations about birth and new mothers I have heard numerous admiration-filled versions of “she just bounced right back!” (this is a particularly popular observation among my Mother’s friends when comparing their daughters’ experiences), and I’m left wondering what’s being left out of the picture.
For me, giving birth was a crazy, warrior-worthy marathon, a physically and emotionally shattering experience from which I most certainly did not “bounce right back”. So maybe a “woo hoo!” birth triggers me, but what I think I’m picking up on on a larger level is a culture that celebrates moving as quickly as possible through the sacred events of our lives.
It’s actually very similar to how menstruation is treated, at least in this culture - little or no celebration of menarche, no encouragement to really understand our cycles, and very little support around taking time to deeply connect with ourselves, or even discuss it. The spate in recent years of hormonal birth control methods used for menstrual suppression is right on trend here, and it leads me to wonder what else is being suppressed along with our cycles, cramps, bleeding and all the rest. For all that our cycles (not to mention giving birth!) can be a chore, I encourage all women to look deeper and see what gifts are there for us as well.
