Bitchin’ Barbies
Holy smokes, am I ever feeling silly with this one. Here’s the story: my freshly 3 year old daughter Genevieve came down with a fever earlier this week so has been at home. As those of you who are parents well know, there is only so much napping, reading and cookie making that one can peacefully manage with a grumpy toddler in a day before everyone needs a break. As much as I am loathe to admit it, TV’s just the ticket for these situations. G’s exposure to television to this point has been very limited (Knowledge Network only - no ads, and for short periods only), and the odd video (Finding Nemo).
So my poor dear daughter is feeling rotten and naturally as her Mom I want to perk her up, so I think “hey, how about getting the Little Mermaid video?” So off we go to the video store, where of course they don’t have the Little Mermaid (it’s 2 months overdue!), just (Goddess help me, I had no idea!) an entire wall of Barbie videos. G goes mental. Now, understand that she does not own a Barbie doll, so how she even knows what or who Barbie is, is unclear to me. Nevertheless, clearly she does and desperately wants to know more. Alarmed, I manage to pare her overflowing armload down to 3 DVDs, all the while cursing my feminist soul - if only my Women’s Studies classmates could see me now!
Back at the ranch, we sit down to the vids. What gets me most is not their impossible figures, but how nasty the Barbies (well, not Barbie herself of course) are to one another, not to mention other assorted unpleasant female characters. In fact, the plots in my limited sample all seemed to come down to the following drama: innocent, blonde (only mean characters have dark hair) Barbie is happily going about her business when she is maliciously confronted by a jealous, dark-haired female. Dark-haired female unsuccessfully plots to do away with Barbie, who ultimately triumphs by winning the true love of a Prince. If she doesn’t start off being a Princess, she somehow becomes one along the way, dress included. Here’s a sample of our conversation:
G: “Mommy, why is she being mean to Barbie?”
Me: “Because she’s jealous.”
G: “What’s jealous?”
Me: “Being mad at someone because they have something you don’t.”
G: “Why?”
And so on. What have I done?!?
It doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of point in trying to stem the tide at this point (as a girl I loved Barbies too, and it seems like denial of the highest order to pretend that Barbie doesn’t exist), other than to make a BOLD note to self: DO NOT TAKE G TO THE VIDEO STORE, EVER. That said, 3 seems a bit young to start work on media literacy and feminist criticism. Or is this really so bad? Like it or not, there are mean and jealous people in the world after all, we just need to recognize that they don’t all have the same hair color. Any thoughts, feminist (or thought they were) Moms?
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:18 pm
oh dear! that’s one thing i always think would be tricky about being a parent. but then, i was a barbie fanatic as a kid, and i turned out pretty good.
i think a lot of that in my case had to do with balance.
i know i’m not a feminist mom, but i had a feminist mom (and dad) and they always tried to make sure i had a lot of balance in what i saw/played with/heard about in my childhood. like i had ton of barbies, but almost as many hot wheels cars and playmobil (which is or was a pretty gender neutral toy, i think). and for all the mainstream/normative propaganda i watched in saturday morning cartoons, my parents read to me all the time, and they chose really good, well-written, intelligent books with strong (dark haired even!) female characters.
so while it may be a bit early for media literacy, maybe just giving genevieve a whole gamut of options when it comes to media will help her see there is more variety in life than busty blonde princesses who marry their prince charming.
May 5th, 2008 at 10:25 am
I too, was a Barbie fanatic but then again I had no idea Barbie videos even existed (is this a new thing?) So my Barbie’s just did what I did, having no previous storyline that went with them - she was able climb trees with me one day and then dress for a party the next.
I think that that’s where the trouble starts, is when you have a pre-determined set-up for a toy. It’s like when you read a book that you’ve alreayd seen the movie version of, you can’t help but picture the characters as who they were in the movie rather than using your imagination.
I agree with Marie-Genevieve though, I had Barbie’s and turned out all right so I don’t think it’s simply that Barbie is bad…it’s when that’s all you have and you’re taught that’s how women should be. Gigi will certainly have a much broader spectrum of toys and images coming to her from her feminist mom and I’m sure more involved discussions will be had when she begins to understand the world a bit more.
May 5th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I’m not a Mum but I can remember what my own Barbie experiences were like, and my Mum’s attitude towards them. I still remember saying to my Mum though it wasn’t fair the blonde Barbie got the pink outfit and the brunette had orange or some other color that wasn’t pink. She told me that the reason Barbie got the better outfit-and Ken, was because the people who made her wanted girls to believe they weren’t as good as other girls if they didn’t look a certain way. Then she asked me if I could think of anyone who was proportioned the way she was or anyone who had blonde hair that thick and long, I couldn’t. I still think of that, I don’t know if my sister does but I know it changed her perception of Barbie (we both have dark hair). If you’re really worried maybe you should give her the answers to you want to give her. She may not understand it, but she won’t forget it and it will be in her head every time she sees Barbie. After all it’s something important her mother told her, and even a three year old can understand that.