Comments on: Facing up to Facebook

By: Jan

Jan — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:01:11 +0000

I agree. Use your own picture. Since Facebook is famous for reuniting old college, high school, sports friends, sometimes I’m not sure if I have the right person because it’s a baby on that pic!

I am determined that when I have kids, I will still maintain my own intellect.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:50:23 +0000

I agree with Holly above. I am someone who is also without children, yet will continue to be childfree. I have no problem with people having children, the only ‘bitterness’ I have towards those who decide to have them, (well the majority of the parents I know) keep telling me I WILL have them….and that’s a whole other can of worms.

Now I have been guilty of posting profile pictures other than myself once or twice, but it wouldn’t be a constant thing….it was marking an occasion, etc, for a day or two. And that is fine I guess. When your child is born, I could totally understand posting it as a profile pic for a bit. What irks me is when it’s one picture after another for days, weeks, months on end. I have one friend who never even shows her face anymore. I see the correlation too between ‘losing identity’ and the profile picture sub in with this particular woman. She, sadly, is one of those who lost themselves and gave up everything. I had to endure a nice dinner out with friends while she talked about the massive size of the umbilical cord (no joke) and other such things just as dinner was being served. It went on and on in spite of the company at the table being quite obviously disturbed….lol!

Anyhow, again as Holly above said, putting a picture of yourself with your child is nice. Just don’t forget who the profile page is about!

When I add a friend on FB, I add it because of them, not their offspring!

By: Holly

Holly — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 21:09:35 +0000

I agree with the author of the article, but I could be biased since I do not have children nor do I have any interest in having them. It’s always irked me to see someone’s Facebook profile picture not being a picture of that person and instead of their kid, a celebrity, or someone else. It’s like the person would rather hide in the shadows or in the case of moms (and some dads), would rather hide their identity behind their “bundle of joy”. I have no qualms with a person’s profile picture being a photo of that person *with* their child, partner/spouse, pet, or whatever because at least the profile holder’s identity is part of the picture.

By: Char

Char — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 04:58:25 +0000

I read the article twice to make sure I got the general gist of it,
and what I’ve surmised from it is: bitterness.

“this voluntary loss of self, comes naturally to her.”
Why does becoming more selfless have to be a bad thing? Yes before becoming a mother everything was about me…but that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way forever, nor would I want it to.

What irks me is the need I feel to defend myself against the negativity this (obviously) childless woman has chosen to spew out to the world. It reminds me of a friend I had who was really negative about all the attention her friends now gave to their children, and how they were less available to go for drinks, and coffee and dinner (and her ensuing resentment at feeling left behind).

I’ve had my daughter’s picture up as a FB profile picture before, but I’ve also had Mr.T and a picture of the Marrakech as my profile picture, do those also indicate that I have in some way lost myself to the A-Team and travel?

By: Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:53:40 +0000

I always cringe slightly when I see a kid’s photo being used in place of the adult’s. My policy is this: until my kid is old enough to give me permission to use his image, then I’ll stick to my own identity. And afterall, if I’m playing in the social media space, I’m building a relationship around…well, me, not my cutey pie, as proud of him as I am.

By: hellomelissa.net » Blog Archive » Profile photos are agonizing enough, thanks

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:21:10 +0000

[…] I read a blog post from the good women at Lunapads about an article written by Katie Roiphe called “Get Your Kid […]

By: Lara

Lara — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 11:50:43 +0000

I don’t think Coralie quite gets Roiphe’s point. Its a misplaced polemic in some way, and the example (kids pics instead of yours on fb) is flimsy, but I don’t think she’s wrong to ask whether we ought to place more value on mums (and dads) as responsible, fully endowed adults - and whether the conventions of modern parenting condone TOO MUCH self sacrifice. In the end a child will value the example and opportunities created by a mum who is engaged in many aspects of the world around her. Children will take everything if we let them - but sometimes for their sakes, and for ours, we have to say no.

By: Coralie

Coralie — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 03:26:37 +0000

A bit sad, really, that she sees that being a Mum negates everything else you’re good at or that you suddenly don’t have a life or achievements of which you are proud.

I consider being a Mum one of the more important jobs in the world. How we raise our children *is* the future. What we teach our children now, in regard to how to treat and support their fellow human beings, animals, the Earth, etc, is a direct reflection of what we’re going to see happening around us in 10, 15, 20 years time.

How can she think that turning into a Mum is not one of the biggest feminist accomplishments of all??